Reading the questionnaires of the women attending the retreat, we noticed many were apprehensive about being held by the group. They didn’t want to be a burden, to take up time or space. It might seem silly when they are on a retreat they have paid for but I understand it completely, it took several sessions of working with my therapist before I trusted that I wasn’t a burden to her (I’ve never felt that way with a coach but I have a different story about coaches).
All of us, but especially women, have stories about when we are allowed to have needs, and what they are allowed to be.
For so long we have believed we have to have everything together, do it all ourselves, often at ridiculous speed, until we reach the weekend and reach for whatever form of comfort and distraction we consider our well deserved treat. We often have a lot to hold too, jobs, homes, partners, families, children, friends, to hold down, to hold together, to hold on to. But what if, just a little, we let them hold us. Because we each need to be held and it isn’t necessarily how much you have on your plate that is exhausting, it is the imbalance: too much holding not enough being held.
I believe it is our inability to receive, not our inability to give that blights the world. We must fill up our own cup so that we can give generously but unless we can receive we don’t have the resources to do so, and that can lead to taking, which is not the same as receiving.
Today, try a little experiment. Make it your intention to receive, whatever is offered, be it help packing your bags, a smile from a stranger, a giggle from your child, a spare 10 minutes before a meeting, a compliment, the invitation to talk with a friend. Often our immediate response “it’s ok, I’m fine” or, “not now” if we don’t want to be a burden we deny that we have any need, and as we’re so skilled at doing it all ourselves we often truly believe we don’t have any need! Or we’re so busy doing, that we don’t notice what is offered. But why not try receiving. If only to give someone else the gift of giving! Allow them to hold you, no matter how big or small the gesture. There is support all around.
By setting the intention to receive, you will be more ready to do so.
As we closed the retreat last week, we stood in a tight circle, left hand up to receive and right palm down to give. The energy and love flowed through the circle and grew in intensity, the only barrier to its power was a woman’s inability to receive, only that could block the flow, although now they were a tight circle of women all more skilled at receiving. They can take that skill into their lives and continue to receive support from the group and the world, and from there, so much more ease and flow is possible.
The peace, love, rest, support, fun that you seek is all around you. Everything you seek is around you. Try receiving today and let us know what shows up. I guarantee something will.
For details of the next retreat make sure you are subscribed.